I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
