yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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