So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
