Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I got inside last night via doggy door
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
