I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Someone came in the potted fern
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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