Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
