Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
