Welp...herpes.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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