so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
