absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
