Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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