The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
