dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
