At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
