im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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