If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Those nachos came to me in a dream
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
