I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
True strength comes from lack of pants
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
