i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
