That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
