she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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