He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
