If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I need moral support for this bender
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
