I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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