the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
this will be a night to untag.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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