I murdered the dance floor call the cops
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
