you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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