Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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