3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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