Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
