fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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