I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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