her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
All the doctor said was why
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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