so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
