Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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