sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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