that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
