i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
