You made me cry and you don't even care
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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