Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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