it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
