he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
