Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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