You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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