Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
