she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
3pm strippers are depressing
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
