What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I have aggressive nipples.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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