420 ftw
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
