Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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