...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
