also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
