just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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