Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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